


Shindig

by yeaka



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Ficlet, Gen, Holidays
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-06
Updated: 2018-12-06
Packaged: 2019-09-13 04:56:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16886019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yeaka/pseuds/yeaka
Summary: Todd throws a holiday party.





	Shindig

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pallidvixen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pallidvixen/gifts).



> A/N: Happy belated birthday, pallidvixen!! I love you loads~
> 
> Disclaimer: I don’t own Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency, Netflix, Die Hard, or any of their contents, and I’m not making any money off this.

He can hear the loud thumping through the door, and for a few milliseconds, Todd seriously considers not opening it. He doesn’t want to see what the Rowdy Three—all five—six?—of them—have done to his new apartment. He’d like to hope Amanda hasn’t entirely assimilated into their madness and is keeping some semblance of control.

Ultimately, he has to trust in that, because Todd _does_ want a good relationship with his sister. Hence inviting them over for a generic holiday ‘bash.’ That’s probably a bad word choice. And Farah’s inside, and she might need backup.

Shifting the grocery bags aside, Todd fishes the keys out of his coat pocket. He locked it when he left, more to keep the Rowdy Three in than anybody out—he’s sure his deposit’s as good as gone if the neighbours see what kinds of ‘friends’ he has. On the other hand, it’s probably gone anyway. Sure enough, he enters the small space to see a total wreck of a night. The couch cushions have been ripped clean off, clothes are strewn everywhere, the cheap snowflake decorations he put up are torn down, a few pieces of furniture upended and what little belongings he had left strewn across the floor. The music’s blaring—some rock-metal hybrid that has one of the rowdies doing air guitar. Rainbow Monster seems mesmerized by it. Amanda’s dancing with the other two boys on the shattered remains of his coffee table. Dirk’s huddled in the corner, eyeing the scene with trepidation. He has the nerve to look like _they’re_ the craziest people imaginable intruding on his otherwise normal life.

Todd doesn’t bother to say hi, because it wouldn’t carry over the music. Instead, he picks his way through the rubble to the kitchen. Farah’s already there, rummaging through his cupboards. She turns around to see him before he can give any greeting, and her wide smile makes the cold trip to the corner store worth it. 

“You got snacks?” she asks, half yelling to be heard.

Todd answers, “Yeah!” even though she’s already taking the plastic grocery bags from him. The two large sodas were a pain to carry, and will probably be a worse pain when he’s dealing with their spills and stains later, but he promised Amanda he’d do this _right_. He probably should’ve gotten eggnog to fit the holiday spirit, but he only likes it when it’s alcoholic, and the last thing this crowd needs is alcohol. 

Farah makes quick work of pouring drinks into mismatched mugs. They’re already pulled out, along with a giant bowl, and this she dumps all four differing chip bags into, mixing them up like that’s the only sensible thing to do, even though Todd was half hoping there’d be at least one unopened and left over for him another day. She even rolls up her sleeves to shuffle the chips together properly, while Todd just sort of stands there pretending that’s totally what he was going to do with them. He wants to ask how it’s been going, but he can see well enough.

Without any warning, something hits Todd from behind. He ‘oofs,’ lurching forward, but doesn’t fall, because a pair of trim arms is suddenly around his middle, firmly attached to him. Dirk whines against him, “Those monsters are going to _eat_ me!”

“They want your life force,” Todd jokes, which probably isn’t funny, because that’s pretty much what they do want. Except Rainbow Monster, who just wants a ‘bibbit.’ Whatever that is. Farah doesn’t laugh. Dirk groans.

Farah notes, “It’s kinda cold in here—where’s your thermostat?”

“Living room,” Todd answers, nodding towards the east wall. Farah nods and moves off, carrying the bowl with two cups tucked under her elbows. Todd thinks of grabbing some to help, then remembers Dirk and knows carrying liquid right now wouldn’t be a good idea.

He heads after Farah anyway, but it’s slow going—Dirk keeps trying to drag him back, hissing, “You think those crackers will sustain them? They’ll come for us next!”

“Chips,” Todd corrects, “and _you._ ” But they won’t really. Hopefully. Amanda _promised_ she’d keep her crew in line, and the only energy they’d feast on was hers. Frankly, Todd doesn’t think that’s much better, but he knows that if he really wants to patch things up with her, he needs to accept that she’s a grown woman capable of making her own decisions. Even if those decisions make her the leader of some delinquent cult of psychotic vampires and a rainbow creature from another world. 

Not that Todd’s doing much better. Farah’s a lot of help. Dirk’s... Dirk.

When they reach the living room, Todd has to forcibly pry Dirk off him. Dirk still hovers at his side as he puts the cushions back on the couches, weaving around the dancing bodies. He’s just fixed the last one when the music suddenly drops in volume, becoming a tolerable ambience instead of the giant headache that it was. He glances over to find Farah standing by the stereo. It’s probably best that she did it—the strange men in Todd’s home just look at her appraisingly, instead of strolling up to growl out a challenge like they probably would if Todd had bean the one to cut in. Farah starts off speaking too loud at first, obviously used to compensating, then halts and starts again at a more normal level.

“Alright, this is supposed to be a holiday party, which means holiday movies. I wrote down a list of—”

“Die Hard,” Amanda interrupts. She snatches the remote off the coffee table gravesite and plops down before Farah can counter.

“That’s not a holiday movie,” Todd says, even though he knows what her argument will be.

Predictably, Amanda rolls her eyes. She clicks right over to Netflix. “It’s set during Christmas, _duh_.”

And it’s a violent mess that was cool when Todd was little, but is less cool in a room full of people that might get ideas. He shoots Farah a hopefully look, but she just shrugs. Of course _she_ would like that movie. 

Todd still half expects the Rowdy Three to protest. They don’t seem like the sit-quietly-and-watch-movies type. But the one that seems to be Amanda’s right-hand man nods and drops down next to her. He even throws an arm over Amanda’s shoulders, which rankles Todd. The man drawls, “Right, boys, let’s watch.”

“Sounds badass,” another one coos, before letting out a completely random wolf howl. Somehow, all four of them manage to cram onto the one couch with Amanda. Rainbow Monster climbs up over the back and perches like a wild animal. 

Dirk, hovering between Dirk and Farah, sighs, “How about we watch ‘Live Softly?’” One of the rowdies laughs like that’s the funniest thing he’s ever heard. Todd doesn’t _get_ them. Dirk doesn’t look like he does either. Todd still remembers when he stupidly thought Dirk knew everything. Or at least everything crazy.

Farah turns the music off completely, pats Dirk’s shoulder, and leads him over to the unoccupied couch. On the way past Todd, Dirk throws in, “And why is it so _cold_ here, I thought you had _blankets_?”

Trying not to roll his eyes, Todd goes to fetch spare blankets for his bizarre found family, while Amanda picks her drink off the floor and hits ‘play.’


End file.
